Gaijin-in-Japan

Sunday night we went out to dinner with friends of ours who are going to get married. They live in a smaller city of about 100,000. This means the choices for who you will spend the rest of your life with are limited. And if you work almost 7 days a week, then your chances are even slimmer. How these two got together is a good example.

They were dating for quite a few years until 5 years ago when they split up. The girl went it on her own because the parents weren’t so fond of him. She dated a taxi driver, a truck driver and a barman each for a year or so but just couldn’t find anyone her parents and her liked. The last guy she dated was probably the best, but he was a bit over the top. Actually, I don’t know the real story. I think it’s a secret like the one about her parents not knowing she smokes (she’s 29). Anyway, they broke up, and she was back on the market.

I’m not sure how this next part happened, but I guess it’s because they all come from a small town. From what I understand in Japanese, the parents contacted the guy she was dating five years ago and asked him to come over to discuss marriage. He agreed, and the next day they were engaged. It’s a long story, and one I wish I could write about, but I may be teaching him English which means he can come back and translate it. Maybe I’ll bullet speak about it on a podcast.

Only recently have I been able to sit down and enjoy a good manzai duo. Manzai is a type of standup comedy that originated in Kansai (Osaka-Kobe-Kyoto area). It’s kind of like Abbot and Costello except Costello whacks Abbott over the head when he makes a stupid comment. Oh, like the Three Stooges when Mo whacks Curly.

Anyway, I’m writing about this because it’s good to be able to enjoy Japanese humor. In Germany I could never laugh because the humor was so far fetched. At least Japanese are simple enough and still like a good ole slapstick vaudeville act.

Nengajo are th post cards sent before New Years. In 2003, 4.4 billion cards were issued from Japan Post. In 2006 those numbers came down to 4 billion. How about this year? I don’t have an exact number for ya, but I can give you an idea of the massive quantities.

My wife has had to take a part time job at the post office selling nengajo. She stands outside the station allll day in the cold next to a heater shivering and hungry. She’s helping the ward sell some 700,000 nengajo. That’s right; 700,000!

Let’s put this into perspective. There are 47 prefectures, we live in Hyogo which has 29 cities; Kobe being our city. Kobe is split into 9 wards, the others are too small to split into wards. So if there are 9 wards selling at least 700,000 cards each then that would come out toooooo 6.3 million cards FOR KOBE. You can take it from here.

Oh. Tomoko is sending out 75 cards this year (below the average of around 100). Which means she will receive 75 back. That’s 150 for one person. Hey, if the average is 200 per person send/receive then that would come out to….let’s see…128 million is the population tiiiiiimes. GOT IT! 25.6 billion nengajo. Something’s screwy here.

Here are the stats for America:

By the numbers - The post office’s busiest day
Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Estimated number of holiday cards exchanged in the United States this year. Christmas cards account for 99 percent of the total; the remainder celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

2 billion

The average number of holiday cards sent by the average American household.

26

SOURCES: U.S. Postal Service; Greeting Card Association

PS: Our nengajo sucked this year so I didn’t scan it. Instead I randomly took one from Tomoko’s pile from last year. Hope they don’t mind me putting their mugs on the Internet. LOL.

From RedOrbit

BERLIN - A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules, police said Wednesday.

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It’s not Japan, but it rings true here on a stupid Saturday night out with the co-workers. It’s called “IKI IKI!!” Now most chain izakayas have signs posted saying “Don’t be a baka, save Taka.” Just kidding. They say to drink carefully; almost as worse. Maybe Japan will combat such irresponsible behavior in 2009 according to this article:

In the vanguard is Toyota, which plans to launch a car in 2009 that will shut down the engine if its driver is drunk, using sensors on the steering wheel to measure the alcohol level in the driver’s sweat. If the driver is wearing gloves, a camera on the dashboard will check for dilated pupils and the car’s computer will detect erratic steering. Nissan, meanwhile, is testing a breathalyser-like device into which the driver must blow before starting the car.

Japan’s two leading mobile-phone operators, NTT DoCoMo and KDDI, have launched phones with built-in breathalysers, which they are marketing to bus and taxi firms. Blowing into a tube on the phone measures the user’s level of intoxication, which is then transmitted to headquarters along with a mugshot of the user and details of the phone’s location, determined by satellite. These devices are not cheap, at ¥89,000 per handset and a further ¥58,000 for the software. But KDDI has sold over 400 since last autumn—many of them to operators of corporate fleets, which account for 40m of Japan’s 70m cars. Read more…

I have to be one of the most exposed gaijins in Japan. Does that mean that my privacy is in jeopardy. Probably; since EVERYBODY knows just about everything there is to know about other than what hand I ….wipe my nose with. My left. I mean, living in Hokkaido on the eastern tip Kuso Baka has not lead me to any encounters with estranged otaku harboring a vengeance for manga foreign wannabes. But the point here is whether Japanese should feel so insecure.

Ask me if I know what my neighbors names are. Nope. Couldn’t tell ya. I don’t even see them, much less any of the other tenants in my 10 story building (on the coast of yada yada). You’d think since we live RIGHT in front of a park there would be regular BBQs or or or…gee…I’ve forgotten what activities communities do since becoming apart of the non-community life.

I digress. Privacy is what you make of it. Us gaijin have our blinders on and Japanese have honor and humble ways. Let’s just keep this going as long as we can.

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Japan to take steps to regulate the Internet
The government is set to regulate the Internet by integrating current laws concerning information, telecommunications and broadcasting, it was announced on Thursday.

hahahahah That’s funny.

I’m confused. Who is the target TV audience for World Cup volleyball in Japan? I’m figuring it must be girls around the age of 14. It seems like the TV station offers music promoters a cheap way to advertise new talent. The commenting is obviously not an important part of the show. The music groups are often asked what they think of the game replying with , “GAMBARE!” and 10 or 20 hits with the inflatable cheer sticks. Dondake!

This game can’t be taken seriously because it seems to tailored for women. Just because women are playing the sport doesn’t mean it should be treated as a joke. Do you see any of this happening on baseball, sumo, golf or even tennis (which for some strange reason never seems to be shown on TV)? Come on people. These girls are doing great. Get some commentators who know what they’re talking about and get into the strategy and related events which affect the game.