My wife got a call from some friends we sometimes see. They’re older than us and have a successful business. They were calling to ask what our son would like for his birthday tomorrow. After the phone conversation, I asked Tomoko why she was speaking so formally to friends we have known for over five years. We’ve traveled with them many times, had dinner parties, BBQs, nights out and more. We even consider each other family. So why does my wife still speak to them like they are customers? Well, if you ask a question like that to your wife you’re bound to start an argument because anything remotely intellectual that does not have a definite answer means confronting the “I don’t know” taboo. You know, that time when a Japanese can’t admit they don’t know something for fear of losing face or something like that. My wife was no exception. “I’m just curious why you speak that way. That’s all. Really.” I said. Tomoko replies, “I’m not your perfect woman.” hmmm.
Comments:
5 Comments posted on "Speaking formally with friends…Why?"
Zen on November 3rd, 2007 at 12:58 am
Vecko on November 4th, 2007 at 5:46 am
ok i knew they where polite but not THAT polite.
sluggo on November 4th, 2007 at 11:37 am
Mike, do you mean speaking *formally* ?
Mike on November 4th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Yep. Brain fart. Thanks
The Warrior on November 5th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Just a guess. She for whatever reason sees the lady as a Senpai in the Sempai-Kohai relationship so she needs to be polite. That is why a good number of English-speaking Japanese prefer speaking English to each other, so they do not have to worry about all of this. You must be logged in to post a comment. |
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